literature

It's In The Blood: Yin and Yang's Bio

Deviation Actions

UnderAbigailsRose's avatar
Published:
514 Views

Literature Text

Name: Lucy, Devil, Yang [Ashton]

Age: 17

Height: 5'5"

Body: Subtle hourglass [when wearing her suit], pale ivory skin, slender, a dancer's body.

Eyes: Right eye is completely black with an off gray pupil, the left eye is completely white with a black ring dividing it from the sclera and a black pupil.
Hair style/color: Hip length, straight hair with straight cut bangs that fall a little above her eyes with two long strands to frame her face. The right side of her head/hair is completely black while the left is completely snow white.

Clothing Style: Very fancy. Wears a dark blue with red pinstripes suit, dark blue dress shirt with red tie, silver katana shaped cuff links, either black dance shoes or black heels, and a black fedora with a white lily in the red silk band. Her nails even match this style, all painted half blue and half red.
Piercings: Both of her ears once each. In her right ear, hanging from a thin chain, is a silver pentagram. While in her left ear, hanging from a thin chain, is an onxy black inverted cross.

Hobbies: Reading and dancing.

Skills: Dancing and anything related to it.

Personality: Very quiet and easy going. Prefers to observe from the distance, but when it comes to her friends she's very protective and becomes very ruthless.

Birthday: February 14th

Fighting Style: Quick, elegant, and dancer style.

Background/History: Lucy, short for Lucifer or Devil, is from a very posh family that was strictly known for their dancers. She, being the eldest of the Ashton twins, had to be completely perfect. Every tiny mistake that she made would end up with punishment and beating from her parents. And like her parents, she and her twin Mark have the same OCD, though not as badly. It is where everything must be even and have balance. Which is different from Kid's "Symmetry" OCD. Their parents OCD was so bad that every single scar that Lucy had was even and balanced in every way, to the point that the same amount of scars on the right side of her back is the same on the left and never touch/cross her spine, which acts as a divider. Shortly after their 8th birthday, Lucy and Mark noticed the difference between them and, what they classified as, "Them". Where's Mark's whole hand would transform into a khyber knife, Lucy's individual fingers would become lethal blades. Soon after this, they found that they could completely change into weapons, though could not use themselves without the other to help control them. This time, Lucy learned her form was that of a completely white long bladed katana with a black grip. The squared tsuba had a decorative 'X'. Hanging off the butt of her weapon's form was a Rosary that can lengthen and be used to throw, spin, and bring back the blade. After this, at the age of 10, both twins wanted nothing to do with their family and decided to run away, going by "Yin-Yang Twins" instead.

Soul: A soft charcole color wearing a fedora with a lily in its hat when it settles, otherwise it keeps changing and matching the souls of those around her (except for Lord Death).

Name: Mark/Yin [Ashton]

Age: 17

Height: 5'5"

Body: Slender, lithe frame with lightly toned muscles.

Eyes: Right eye is completely dark blue while the left is a complete crimson red.

Hair style/color: Jaw length hair with evenly jagged bangs that slightly go into his eyes,
the right side of his head/hair is dark blue while the left is crimson red. The blue side is straight while the red seams to always be spiky and looks messy all the time.

Clothing Style: Casual classy. Wears black slacks and a white button down and white singlet tucked into the slacks and a loose black and white silk tie. The top two buttons are normally left undone and the sleeves rolled up to a little above his elbows. Sometimes he'll wear a black and white sports cardigan, and like his sister, wears shiny black dance shoes. On each wrist is a loose silver chained bracelet.

Piercings: Both of his ears once, a silver hoop.

Hobbies: Cooking and dancing.

Skills: Dancing and anything related to it.
Personality: Unlike his sister, he's more vocal and out going, and quite curious about everything and anything; though he knows there's a time and a place. But like his sister, he's very protective of his friends and becomes ruthless one one is hurt.

Birthday: February 14th

Fighting Style: Quick, elegant, and dancer style.

Background/History: Similar to his sister's, but he hardly got any beatings. His weapon form looks like that of a giant khyber knife, but the handle takes the form of two arms reaching out in a praying/begging pose with a Rosary clutched between the fingers.

Soul: A soft baby blue that always looks curious and innocent. His soul, unlike his twin's, keeps stretching and shrinking, almost like a ball of putty.
Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
amber-sky's avatar
First off, thanks for letting me critique your character! I'll do my best. :)

Looking over it, I was at first confused in seeing two characters but it started out with only the description of Lucy...scrolling down I see you have the second character, but it's hard to tell where the separation is. I would make that clearer by putting a series of dashes "-------------------" to break the two profiles. I would also bold the words like "Name, Age, Height, etc." to make it easier to read. (It looks more organized as well.)

Lucy/Yang:

So Lucy goes by the names Devil and Yang as well? I really love her apppearance and think you described it well, although instead of separating it into paragraphs of "Eyes, Hair style/color, and Clothing style," I would just combine that all into a coherent paragraph and title it "Appearance." That way it looks longer and more concise.

I would put her hobbies and skills under her personality. Her personality is rather short and leaves a lot to be desired. What other traits does she have? She has a very interesting background and use of weaponry!

Mark/Yin:

I'd have to say pretty much the same edits to be made for Mark in terms of organizing and fleshing out the personality a bit more.

Sorry this critique is so short! I never watched Soul Eater before, so I can't say I'm the best person to be critiquing these characters. (So I can't give an overall rating.) However, I will say that I like both of these characters' style and they seem very interesting!